Growing up, I was not really great with having friendships with women. In high school most of my close friends, the ones I really talked to, were men. Odd, as I was surrounded by women due to my all female parochial schooling (or, maybe not so odd, if you think about it). In college I found one or two close women but we lost track of each other once our lives left NYC. Then Tim and I established our lives and for some time I found myself befriending the women of all of our guy friends, women they chose and that happened to come into my sphere due to their relationships with my friends. And eventually this was no longer satisfactory as they were not the nicest people and I realized that they could not truly claim to be my friends. You could say I have been pretty badly burned when it comes to female friendships.
I drifted in the friendship world for a bit, occasionally really feeling the lack of connection with other women in my life, but content and rarely lonely. Then things changed over the last few years. When we made the decision to become parents and then had twins, well, I wanted some connection…something more. And once I realized that I craved friendship something shifted. Over the last three or four years I have found some of the most amazing women in my life and that feels wonderful.
One of these women is Kate and we celebrated her Bachelorette weekend in a luxurious resort villa in Palm Desert.
I can say I was excited but apprehensive about going away, the only other girls weekend’ I have ever done was Vegas with the mean girls, and that scared me off a bit to the whole going away with other girls thing. But this time, oh, this time I will never forget. It was the best time I have ever had with a group of women and I know it was due to our joy and celebration of each other.
The setting was beyond.
We were at the Hyatt in a private villa (provided due to a hookup, not because any of us are wealthy) and the room had vaulted ceilings, French doors opening to our private backyard, an unbelievably sumptuous bathroom with deep tubs and mirrors everywhere (which none of us were completely enamored of, not always great to see one in all her glory, you know?). We really did have a private butler to provide anything we asked for, including a well stocked bar with waaay too many alcohol choices.
But best of all, we had each other. And that is why it was such and amazing time that is echoing in my mind right now. The serious conversations, the hilarious (and yes, inebriated) jokes we crafted with each other, the cuddles, the ridiculous pictures,
the making each other feel loved and fun and sexy…it was everything I thought women friendship could be. To finally have it, to be part of i,t was a gift that makes me feel all giddy.
We were also privileged to be served by my friend’s Mama, an established chef in the desert community.
Not only did she prepare the best meal ever, she also told us tales of her famous clients, nothing bad but all very interesting. She had one about GW Bush…let’s just say, it struck me that he is a man and gentleman, even if he is the biggest screw up president ever.
The weekend closed with a commitment to find one weekend a year to meet and do what we did…to take the time to celebrate and cherish each other, to laugh and drink too much, to snap ridiculous pictures that will never see the light of day because of missing clothing articles (ahem, Kate). To be women.
I knew my thirties were going to be the best decade of my like. Right about now I am finding out why. Here is to us, women who understand support and love and fun and joy.