Fear and Freedom

I have to chuckle a bit after reading the last post. Somehow I thought I would find the time to write in the maelstrom that is life on the road. It feels as if I wrote that post months past and a minute ago. And tomorrow it is time to head back South, somewhat weary from the time away but also very very changed.


The last few weeks have solidified some very important beliefs that Tim and I hold, the most important being that we have to move. Not want to, not going to, but HAVE to. It was a multi-purpose trip with riding and family and yoga but the crux was spending time in our future home to make sure it should be our Future.


What we found still makes me smile. The people at the checkout counter smiled and took moments for conversation or to speak with our boys. The ice cream shop teenagers asked my kids which color spoon they preferred. The library has felt boards and tolerant smiles and The New Yorker shelved right next to Farm and Grain and Organic Homesteading. It felt like our Utopia.



Sure, people still cut each other off a bit and snarls of traffic could be found in some places. But it did not feel hick or wrong or closed. It felt right. And the homes we were able to visit sealed the deal, places with some breathing room and old oaks and veggie plots, one was even right next to a family winery (which might be a dangerous situation if the tasting room is open frequently). We did not find our home but I instead we found our Place, and the home will follow.


So now, to take the plunge. There are 5 PT positions open in the very nearby area, my parents are eager to move and the house we live in is (almost) in a salable condition. My heart squeezes and thumps harder as I write this but it feels possible.


I did a full day of yoga on Thursday, it just so happened a HUGE yearly festival coincided with out return this week. I worked through three 2 hour classes over the course of the day and still feel a bit hobbled. But I will tell you, each class I chose did something to me. One literally churned my insides, teaching me to reshape my inner body and strength to support the outer. One taught me to fly on the backs and hips and hands of other yogis. And the last gave insight into teaching and branding yoga and all the nuances that exist as the practice of yoga moves into common consciousness.


During my Acroyoga class the tiny full voiced teacher Jenny discussed the form with us. We spoke of releasing fear and her comment still sits in my heart today. "Fear and Freedom are two sides of the same Coin". And they are. I would like to think I am listening carefully enough to the Universe and its message. And though we have to return much deeper south than I would prefer, I want to continue to stoke this fire and freedom as we thread back into our lives in our current Home.

So many memorable moments from the trip but for now I just want to marinate in this newly found conviction.

Thai massage demo. That was some yoga day, let me say. Also, I discovered I can do this to Tim. And that makes me feel so powerful and him so loved.